eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure
I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept
emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me
carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a
lesbian.
Cheers.
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
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Friday, September 22, 2006, 9/22/2006 11:21:00 PM
9/22/06 11:11 pm--------------------
let go. look at it this way you're not letting your happiness go, rather you're setting yourself free.
I really wish I can follow my own advices. I just realized that, people do give very good advices, sad to say... not everybody is capable of following them. Haaaay Damnit! Fuck this day! Fuck this week!!! Everything's a mess. What's happening to me?! Please please please, I made a promise to God and myself that I will not let myself fall in the pranks of "love". OH MY FUCKING HELL! here comes my fear... Now it's just going to be goddamn hard to cope up with what I used to be. This guilt is excruciating! And I'm about to cry. YOU ARE GIVING ME THE MANY REASONS TO HATE MYSELF AND CRY LIKE HELL, but at the same time you're the only one I cling to for my happiness. >: Shit!! See? That's just it! Aren't I the one who always say "don't ever find your happiness in a guy!"--- damnit!!! You know what Peng! You maybe so smart but you're a fool for love! argh! >: okaaaay, and I'm talking to myself again! 0_o
9/23/06
ok why am I so fed up? everything was going well until something happened.
1. Why do you have to lie to me? haay. :
2. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm doing something wrong here? It's like marijuana (hahaha, nice comparison!) IT FEELS SOOOOO GOOD but you know deep inside that it's bad for you! that's what I'm feeling towards him. I am perfectly baffled. How am I going to deal with this crap?
3. Why do I get jealous everytime I see her? She's the perfect model for simplicity. She takes on life as if it's a wonderland. She's everything I'm not. Why do I envy her when the entire world says I have the better or larger half of this cake? Why do I have to force a smile everytime the both of us would meet? BUT IT'S NOT AS IF I'M MAD AT HER. I'm really not mad at her!! damnit. this bites.
4. Why don't I feel the spark yet?! argh! mag 1 year na mehn! wala parin bang spark? I know, I know! Here I am again... spark-signs-fate-destiny-shit again.. but you just can't help yourself with that. Those are a part of girls' nature. Of course, all of us, even the cold-hearted ones live by the saying.. every princess deserves her prince charming. So I'm still holding on to my younger days when happily ever after was just a wink away.