eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure
I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept
emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me
carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a
lesbian.
Cheers.
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
" i miss camille real bad :( "
Monday, October 23, 2006, 10/23/2006 09:14:00 PM
Down as hell. From this tormenting place, how can I ever get up? And move on? I feel like nothing's left of me now. With my stupidity and unmindfulness... I let myself fall to pieces in the arms of someone else. Betrayal, Denial, Hurt, Unjust, but pure stupidity. Mom's right, I may have good intellectual capabilities, but when it comes to facing the "real" world?... err. Nevermind. I know I will never be the same person again. And I know it's gonna be hard to accept everything that happened, I'll take this incident as something to rely on everytime I feel like I'm doing something stupid again. I'll never commit this indiocy again!! ARGH! STUPID STUPID STUUPID STUPID! oo na, nagsisisi na ako. But it's so freaking hard to forget! I even dream of the scenes from the incident, I can't take my mind off it. It's freaking bull.. It's tearing me apart. And the fact that you still accepted every badnews that I uttered and even managed to say that you really love me, makes me want to slit my wrist! @_@ I'm so stupid. I'm sorry.
I really miss Camille :( I hope she's having fun there, I miss her sarcasm and humor :( I miss hugging someone whenever I feel down. I miss her so much :(. and soon enough by December 9.. it'll be Ang who will leave the Phils. next. OHMAYGAD :(( First Clara, then Camille.. now ANG?? NOOO. :(( Why is life unfair? Why is life tragic at the same time wonderful? Why is my life being wasted by my own stupidity? IS THIS WHAT I REALLY WANT? hell no. I want to change. I really do.
GOD!!! I MISS MY CHILDHOOD, I MISS MY GRADESCHOOL DAYS, the mc field, the mmj :(, the calachuchi area, the cafe!!, hay i miss my old life. Why is life complicated? Why is it hard to let go? Why is it that people always say that "you should let go and move on"... WELL CAN YOU EVEN DO THAT?? We're just humans, we still feel pain. It's not because I wear a smile everyday doesn't mean I'm always okay. I'm never gonna be okay.