eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure
I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept
emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me
carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a
lesbian.
Cheers.
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
people always leave :(
Thursday, October 05, 2006, 10/05/2006 07:32:00 PM
people always leave... a lingering question still stinging in my mind...
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE?
and to make things worst, why do they have to be the people whom you love the most? it's so ironic to accept the fact that the people you love the most are the ones who will bring you the most unbareable pain and sorrow. they leave you with a feeling of thirst, like an unsuccessfully attained dream. you become frail and bitter. you become stubborn and useless. and you're left with your so called life.
and yes, i feel like i'm more tattered than before. a few days ago a friend of mine finally told me her deepest agony... she'll be leaving the country this November, for good. at first my mind was like still processing the whole "we're going to new zealand na, for good." line. then finally.. *DING*.. i went all perplexing, shocked as a big bus hit my head!... I'm gonna miss her. :( really bad. it suddenly occured to me that letting go is the hardest part of holding on. this feeling of distraught, like a thousand pins poked onto your heart. it's hard. it's really hard.
pretending everything is alright, when amidst my bright sunshine.. buckets full of tears are poured like rain. and to cry is all i have left to do. pretending to be numb though sorrow is evident in your eyes. i pass by you everyday, i walk as if you're not there. but do you know that i want to hold you back? and give you a big hug? and tell you everything's gonna be alright? and that nothing has change?? but i can't just do that. it's not that easy. we live in completely different worlds, it's even a miracle that our roads met.
my facade may have changed, but my feelings have not. don't say you're sorry, and that you're such a jerk. you and i made the right decision. if we're really for each other in the end... our roads will still meet.
~who's leaving now? haii peng.~
X_X