eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure

I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a lesbian.
Cheers.




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what a night
Saturday, October 07, 2006, 10/07/2006 02:00:00 PM

hay. alas! my long wait for a party break was given to me last night. that was the best birthday party i've been to. honestly i hate going to big house parties coz you can't do everything that you want. andaming pagkain! grabe foodtrip! and tita-mami-mrs.barredo (haha) was kind enough to lend me her daughter's shirt 'cause i was feeling all sticky and yucky already haha. anyway, nope there were no drinking sessions, just pure fun. bang-sack (spell check?) and that was my first time to play that game. we sang our asses off while singing along the lyrics of I Turn To You. hahaha. and basta! it was a karaoke trip as well. and to top it all of, kuya pogi/gwapo/handsome was there :">
KUYA ALEX!!
rawr. he's soooo cute, sadly he's 20 y/o already! (he just turned twenty last oct.4 lalang! :">) anyway subway, I DON'T CARE!! 5 years? ok lang yun! haha. he's a UPista and a part-time model (so i heard?!) AND AND AND!! we're talking right this very moment!! OMG OMG OMG!! how the hell did he get my number?? hahaha, kapatid niya nga pala si anna. psh. bammer. haha. joke. grabe! I'M REALLY BLUSHING RIGHT NOW! waaa, he is so cute!! omg,
i have a cute name daw! WAAA. XD amp. =)) anyway. eto ka nanaman peng, nagkakacrush sa mga KUYA.
tsk. forget about that. :

anyway, change topic. i feel like he's fading away already. is that a good thing?? i don't think i can handle this. i don't want to pretend anymore, and i hate ignoring you everytime i pass by you in the hallways. i hate the feeling i get everytime our eyes would meet. i don't want to be shallow anymore. you know i hate doing this. but it pains me more to see that we have lost the spark we once had before.

yesterday after club time, i didn't expect to bump into him by the stairs. finally, i gathered all my courage and and threw away my pride. it irritated me that I was the one who approached the first again. i didn't exactly had the chance to tell him all the things i wanted to say, i felt like i've made the wrong move. but we both know the feeling's still there... maybe it's hiding, i don't know. or maybe it's bound never to appear again.

this is goddamn killing me. X_X