eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure

I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a lesbian.
Cheers.




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ANXIETY
Thursday, May 03, 2007, 5/03/2007 08:57:00 PM

Argh! I'm excited at the same time worried about tomorrow, I feel like my voice's gonna be all over the place, ayoko magkalat! @_@ Ugh. Relax, breathe... Well on the other hand, I'm gonna see BLUE BOY BASSIST AGAIN!!! Wah! This time I'm gonna get yer name dude :)) And I'm excited about Giniling Festival, haha. :D

Anyway, you know what I'm fussing about right now? College. Yeahp when people say the word college, first thing that pops into my mind is crucial school work. Haha. It's like a heavy duty over my shoulders. And I'm still torn between what I want and what I really need. Let's start off with what I need in the future:
1. A well-to-do job
2. Money
3. A hot husband :))

For 13 years now, I always wanted to be a doctor. Nung grade 5 I decided I'd be a Pediatrician, that stayed until I was in 1st year (still in the field of Medicine). 2nd year, I decided I'd take up BS Bio in UP Diliman (for Pre-Med), or kung may himala at makapasa ako ng Med sa UP Manila why not diba? Haha. Still, all of them are in the field of Medicine. Tapos bigla kong naisip, why not take Accountancy instead? So yun, for the first time may bago na sa mga gusto ko.

I then realized that I'm in love with graphic designing. And that made me want to take up Advertising. But my sister said if I want to be in UP with that course I'd have to take up Fine Arts. When my mom found out about this, she got a bit disappointed. She always wanted Medicine for my future course. Pero that's just it, I want to take up Medicine because I know that course, I know where I'll land after graduating. Pero sa Advertising, san ako mapupunta after that? I'll have some projects but what happens if my designs are not needed anymore? It's transitory. But it's what I really want.

I still want to take up Biology as a major though, 'cause for one, it'll bring me a better future. And I like Biology also. Pero alam mo yun ate ko nakapass siya ng Law (legal management) sa UST tas Med sa UP Manila, pero in the end pinili niya parin ang Theatre Arts kasi passion niya yun. Bakit ba ang Politics, Science, at Arts ay parating may contradiction? Parating naddegrade ang Arts. Yung mga nagtatalent test sa UP sa college of music, fine arts at theatre.. Anong mga sinasabi sa kanila? "They're wasting their goddamn future." Ganyan parati! STEREOTYPED.

Hay! Nakakastress, well I still have a year to think about this. Pero sabi nila yung mga interests mo hindi yan forever, and they maybe what you really want but in the end they're not what you need at all. Pero sige naging successful nga ako, pero di naman ako fulfilled. I don't wanna be stuck into doing something that I don't really like.

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