eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure

I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a lesbian.
Cheers.




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Ugh
Monday, November 05, 2007, 11/05/2007 08:18:00 PM

So completely shattered, discomfort is getting the best of me. Stop stop stop. I can no longer take this, my weakness is prevailing. I'd kill for a gust of stability. This uncertain heart is no longer capable of running away so please stop this catastrophe. I feel strangled and so so suffocated. I don't want to feel this way about you anymore---the feeling that I'd just want to walk away from your presence.

I can't bare all your pain anymore, all your rants, all your agonies. I'm your problem and it kills me to help because I can't do anything about it, except hurt you more. Don't you think this is unfair? Unfair for you, and crushing for me. Just stop whatever you're doing, I don't like it... and you wont like the outcome. There's nothing to hold on to anymore, please let me go.

Don't wait. Don't waste your time on me anymore. I'm in such a trance of guilt because I'm killing slowly some who's gonna die for me. This is so not right. I am not right, I'm not the right one for you. Stop regretting, stop ranting, stop blaming, stop making a fool out of yourself because you are such a great person. I am not gonna be a waste of time for you. PLEASE SINK IN THIS THOUGHT. It's over. OH gawd T_T

I can't believe I'm blogging about this matter. This is so unruly, yet this is the only way I can keep calm of myself 'cause if I were to tell you everything my heart is screaming ... I'm sure you'll be going home with an empty tragic heart. And that's just it, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, and this is just an irony 'cause you always end up getting hurt.

Pero pananawan mo naman din ako, ang hirap. Ayoko na. I'm fucking tired of this.