eloquent and self assured
an artist's grasp of insecure
I fashion the most unlikely ideas. I sometimes scare the crap out of myself. I am nocturnal. I am conceited. I'm a mess. Writing is my escape, jotting down kept
emotions is fun (try it haha). I may elaborate way too much on a simple thought, so feel free to stop me whenever you want. My mom lets me
carry a swiss knife whenever I go out. I am a very random person, hello XD I PMS like a betch. I am in love with Katy Perry :3 And no I'm not a
lesbian.
Cheers.
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
Oh.
Monday, May 04, 2009, 5/04/2009 06:09:00 PM
'Cause you just don't break up with someone you're madly in love with..When you get to the point where you just can't find the words to say anymore, it isn't because you don't know what to do or what to say... It's because you just wanna conclude things. Extinguish the fire. But at the end of the day, you regret not saying a word at all.
I found myself a realization while watching One More Chance (for the 6th time) the other day. It's funny how I slave over movies that I feel I can relate to. And I feel... Ok I'm gonna go with how the movie goes, 'cause most movies end with smiles. But I always, ALWAYS seem to forget that I'm no superstar, there are no cameras, and I have no audience. So I guess things don't always end up with a smile.
A movie of 1 hour and 30 minutes... It all seem so easy. But what they don't show us is the process--the unbearable cycle that you have to go through everyday. What happens in the middle of the night when you're stuck between "should I end this or not". They don't show how heartbreaking it is just to take another step. 'Cause then people will realize how hard it is to live life thus making them pessimists of the world.
So there I was, trying to make a decision. Until I learned it is not a decision, but a feeling. So what the hell am I feeling? All I know is, we've gone through this for about a hundred times and I always find myself speechless, crying, and guilty. So I go for the easiest way out--the "let's forget this ever happened and move on/ go back with our lives" decision. But it piles up, and up and up and up until it fucking hurts already.
So what do we do. What should I do. I never felt this way about anyone before. I used to love this feeling. But I really do think we both need to grow up first.